love? like? admire? used to it?

i dun know what im thinking now... my mind is keep going thinking of him ... is it this what what others say "LOVE" ???? i really dun know ... when he was online i want to chat with him but i was scare so i just leave it ... actually i was waiting whether he was find me in msn ... and the answer is no, she rather find my friends then me..... maybe we are not as close .... but we was just very close since we at secondary and now i really very sad .... sigh ~~ i hope that he will be fine .... i wont interrupt his life .... i swear ...